A Very Sucky Week

It was a very up and down week emotionally and stress-wise for me. One of my brothers that I respected the most, even though I don’t really know him all that well(he’s older and a half brother and has lived in the US since long before I was born), out of the blue showed that he is not the person I thought he was. It’s hard to find out someone you thought was one type of person is in fact totally different than you thought.  What’s even worse is he showed this side on my personal Facebook page and a couple of my friends(both very GOOD people!) got a piece of his horrid behaviour, I was so embarrassed by it. It took me a couple of days to shake it, I couldn’t sleep because of it. I’ve been treated pretty shitty by a lot of people in my life, but his behaviour is about the worst I’ve ever seen directed at me and he’s my own brother. I have other family that I’m tired of their treatment/neglect of my family and finally ready to speak up about it if I need to, but this brother was the last person I ever expected to see act in such a way.

Then right after that incident my husband got news that he likely will not get his bonus this year, which is usually given in August. This is huge for us because when he got this job the base pay was much lower than he was asking for, but they said that with the bonus it would bring it up to what he was asking for and they said they always get the bonus. Well, then he didn’t get a full bonus last year(because he had not been there a full year, even though when hired he was told he would get full) and now they’re saying it’s not looking good at all for bonus this year. And the thing is, it’s not because they didn’t do what they were supposed to do(they did! They’re doing fantastic!), it’s because a new system that was put in place in the Fall caused some major issues when it was put in, stuff that was completely out of their hands yet they’re still counting those issues that happened against them…even though it had nothing to do with them. This is a huge problem for us, it’s hard to get by with what he would get including his bonus, without it we’re in big trouble. He loves the company he works for, loves his job, but he’s not getting paid what he’s worth and what we need. The last they were told 6 months ago is that they would be getting it, if we knew that was not the case we never would have spent money on some things like gardening and such.

Our first thought was that I would have to go and work outside of the home again, the mention of that brought everyone to tears. I cried all night, I think it was something I needed after what happened with my brother, but I also cried because in 15 years of marriage we’ve had this bad luck cycle that seems to happen every 2 years and I’m just so tired of it. We just barely get to recover from one bad luck episode and then something else comes along and knocks us right back down. So, of course my first thoughts were here we go again, this time it has actually been  more than 2 years since we’ve had anything really bad happen. Of course this time he still has a job, it’s just less money than we were expecting/needing. So it’s not even close to when things have gone bad in the past, just frustrating and depressing when you think you’ve finally shaken whatever curse has been upon you just to feel like it has hit again.

We’re going to try to remain hopeful that they were wrong and the bonus will happen, the cut off isn’t until July, so there’s still time for things to change. Maybe some higher up will finally come to their senses and realize that it is unfair and only going to piss off a lot of people to hold them accountable for something that was out of their hands. But in the meantime we need to figure out what else we can do, me going out and working outside of the home, even if it’s part time, would have a huge negative impact on family and home life for us all while only helping out financially a little bit. So we have decided that will have to be an absolute last resort. Everything has gone up so much this year already, utilities are all way up, groceries are way up, our rent went up, add that to two growing boys who’s appetites are huge and the cost to clothe a child who is bigger than the average man…..well, something has gotta give that’s for sure.

With any luck one of the lottery tickets in my purse I have yet to check will have a pleasant surprise for us and our life long money issues will be over LOL.

Jolene